Thursday, November 13, 2014

COD41-Abortion Porn

It was a dark and misty road at 2 AM in the countryside outside of Petaluma. Debra's fingers are numb from the cold as she grips the steering wheel and drives toward her hotel where she will stay for her sistie's wake.  It's so cold, she's sporting a pair of glass cutters in her bra. Not even realizing that she is day dreaming of Kim Kardashian's recently released nude photos, she's startled to attention as she swerves to miss the barely visible ducks crossing the road. 

Filled with adrenaline and, well... lust from her daydream, Debra asks Siri to call her fateful prayer line for a bit of prayer about her son's new-found interest in women in a certain condition. 

Siri continues to guide her to her hotel in the background. Before she knows it, she has arrived. Unfortunately, Debra couldn't find a hotel that would accommodate her seeing eye ducks on such short notice. Having no other option for the feathered fowl, dinner was delicious that night. "Quack." She enjoyed herself more than Mama June at a NAMBLA convention.  Allegedly. 

Getting little help from the prayer line, Debra calls a couple of local spas thinking a wrap and massage will help her feel better before the wake. Then she slips off her clothes and slips under the covers of her warm hotel room bed. Still feeling frisky from the BIG Kardashian reveal in Paper Magazine, she picks a number at random from the hotel phone book which turns out to be a Mormon establishment. "Mark? How big is it, Mark?"

Getting no satisfaction on any front, combined with the lack of sleep, Debra slips easily into another psychosis. She calls a frozen treat establishment to order a special cake for her family doctor.  Startled at hearing a familiar southern drawl on the phone, she snaps out of her schizophrenic mental state. "It's like talking to family," she thinks to herself. 

Debra's Eyes flutter open as the sunlight through the hotel window partially bathes her naked form. She realizes, as her eyes adjust, that it was partially blocked by the two portly Chinese men staring at her from the other side of her first floor window.  Keeping her composure, Debra sits up on the side of the bed closest to the window, slowly and deliberately crosses then uncrossed her legs Sharon Stone style, then stands and walks to the door. 

Debbie invites the men inside. They follow her never taking their eyes off of her saggy, wrinkled ass. Debra looks over her shoulder to be sure she had their attention. Then she widens her stance and slowly bends over.  The men are alarmed when a bright spot of light flashes from the depths of Debra's posterior. 

A wind picks up through out the hotel room as Debra's secret is revealed to the two men. She is cursed with an anti-prolapse! Small, light items begin to shake and slide from all over the room toward the sphincter of doom. Curtains sway toward her. A virtual tornado of turbulence fills the room as everything not nailed down is sucked into the black depths of Debra's butt monster. 

The men, completely transfixed up to this point, realize they are being pulled into Debra's pucker palace. Before they can even react, they are pulled into the downtown brownie's event horizon to never return.  Getting her composure back and feeling fully charged if not a bit bloated, Debra announces to the emptied room, "That was NOT normal."









Kim kardashian nude Debra calls a well known prayer line to get a little prayer request filled pertaining her son's newfound activities with a loose woman. #madonnaCDburning  abortion porn. Reagan. Ice cream cake at Dairy Queen abortion cakeSenior citizen discounts for a working woman to get nails done. Men only. Massage? Back room full body.  Duck duck goose. Petaluma massage. Chiffon girdle wrap. First spa treatment. Scented oils gift wrapped for sisters casket. Leo Laporte is laPortly. Duck scented candle. Snickers candle. Selling candles out of car. Credit card number. Duck lust. Son having sex with neighbors husband. They are all mad at Debra. Knitting chiffon girdles. Eating. Glass cutters. Mormons. Debbie gets sexy. How big is it mark?

Sunday, October 19, 2014

COD40-KFC 8 Piece Abortion Bucket-O-Babies

Amazon giftcard donation  churchdebra@gmail.com GET SAVED!

Being banned from the library for rubbing herself while researching pregnancy options, Debra calls a pregnancy hotline for the same old list of options. However, she discovers some shocking statistics. Aborties are dangerous. KFC DEAL 8 Piece Coupon code Chicken!!!!

Waffle House isn't all that it's quacked up to be with the senior citizens with disabilities act as they actively refuse service to Debra while she has her seeing eye animal leading the way.

Hoping to find a hotel who will accept her foul feathered friends, Debra calls for information on a room for the evening.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

COD39-Candy Corn Nipples


Pumpkin spiced lattes and candy corn dreams as Debra calls for help in full psycho mode. It's not normal!

Feeling the Fall nip(s) in the air, Debra gets frisky and calls a dating line. 

Good old Debra Sanderson of the Sanderson Sisters is looking to purchase a vacuum that will double as personal transit. Get down on it! Get down on it! 


Kathy and her boss don't seem to know what hit them when Debra calls a church for a little spiritual help with her physical problem. No fall colors. 

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

COD38-AHS DUCK SHOW

Debra tries to get her ducks in a row by calling for overnight accommodations. Build a bear won't build a duck. Duck duck dog? D-U-C-K! Debbie's seeing eye duck has a bit of an addiction. She calls a specialty shop to find a solution. Ducks need entertainment, too! Political delusions take over as Debra believes she is Cindy McCain while searching for just the right amenities for her and her seeing eye duck. Debra calls Leslie Jordon for prayer about her wayward son who violates the cross (and a few ducks) by cross dressing.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

COD37-Joan River's A-Duck-Tion

This week, Little Debbie is crazier than Ariana Grande's list of performance demands! Fetus is on the menu today as Debra calls yet again for help with her pregnancy psychosis. Debra isn't the only one that leaves this call in a bad mood. Is that normal? After this weird conversation, she realizes she needs to start with her abnormalities for her own sake. Turning to the Lord as always, she calls for prayer for her issues. But before she can get to the heart of the issue, she remembers Joan Rivers' tragic death. Asking for prayer in bringing the doctor's alleged malpractice to justice, the conversation turns to "Murder, Oh God!" Debra needs to 'focus on her family' so she calls to talk to a lovely woman about her school for girls Stuck in her duck-centered psychosis, Little Debbie calls a duck supplier looking for ducklings for sale but instead, she travels miles and miles for some BBC. Traveling through California, Debra calls Motel 666 to get pre-approval to bring her flock of ducks in for a night of fornication and debauchery as mentioned in Revelations. Maybe one or two would be ok. Joan Rivers would be proud. Not finding any help with the ministry, Debra calls a psychiatric hospital for help. But it's hard to find the right Christian based organization. So she gives up again. But not before she brings up the Iggy Azalea Sex Tape!. Thinking she just needs to take it one problem at a time, Debra has a crippling a-duck-tion and calls a sex addiction hotline. Taking every opportunity, Debra is curious about job openings. "Dappra" falls right back into her pregnancy delusion from the state of Ducks, USA, and calls yet another hotline for help. The language barrier is a bit of a hinderance. The ducks aren't helping.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

COD36-A Working Woman Loves Sex

Debra has the call of nature for The BBC. and she doesn't mean TV, as she and her friend, Natalie Nicole, call The Waffle House. 

Hoping to get a "bite" at the Waffle House, Debra calls around for special room rates. 

That elusive escape-artist of a brooch strikes again. While Debra reminisces about a horse. 

Not having any luck with the Waffle House BBC, Debra calls the lonely hearts meetup line with a margarita in hand. 

A little more bargaining for lower room rates for a working woman. 

Natalie Nicole calls for preggers advice and a facility that will accept her guide dog.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

COD35-Debbie Does Bath Salts

Debra calls for abortion procedure advice. But poor Homer gets a lesson of his own.

Black is the new white.

Close encounters of the filth kind at the Waffle House.

You get job make living! Girls are on the menu at Tina's. So is Wisconsin Cheese. Pretty yummay. 

Rover took over and tasted the rainbow... Then flew WAAAAAY over it.

No Justin Bieber in this hot sexy girl!