Wednesday, September 17, 2014

COD37-Joan River's A-Duck-Tion

This week, Little Debbie is crazier than Ariana Grande's list of performance demands! Fetus is on the menu today as Debra calls yet again for help with her pregnancy psychosis. Debra isn't the only one that leaves this call in a bad mood. Is that normal? After this weird conversation, she realizes she needs to start with her abnormalities for her own sake. Turning to the Lord as always, she calls for prayer for her issues. But before she can get to the heart of the issue, she remembers Joan Rivers' tragic death. Asking for prayer in bringing the doctor's alleged malpractice to justice, the conversation turns to "Murder, Oh God!" Debra needs to 'focus on her family' so she calls to talk to a lovely woman about her school for girls Stuck in her duck-centered psychosis, Little Debbie calls a duck supplier looking for ducklings for sale but instead, she travels miles and miles for some BBC. Traveling through California, Debra calls Motel 666 to get pre-approval to bring her flock of ducks in for a night of fornication and debauchery as mentioned in Revelations. Maybe one or two would be ok. Joan Rivers would be proud. Not finding any help with the ministry, Debra calls a psychiatric hospital for help. But it's hard to find the right Christian based organization. So she gives up again. But not before she brings up the Iggy Azalea Sex Tape!. Thinking she just needs to take it one problem at a time, Debra has a crippling a-duck-tion and calls a sex addiction hotline. Taking every opportunity, Debra is curious about job openings. "Dappra" falls right back into her pregnancy delusion from the state of Ducks, USA, and calls yet another hotline for help. The language barrier is a bit of a hinderance. The ducks aren't helping.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

COD36-A Working Woman Loves Sex

Debra has the call of nature for The BBC. and she doesn't mean TV, as she and her friend, Natalie Nicole, call The Waffle House. 

Hoping to get a "bite" at the Waffle House, Debra calls around for special room rates. 

That elusive escape-artist of a brooch strikes again. While Debra reminisces about a horse. 

Not having any luck with the Waffle House BBC, Debra calls the lonely hearts meetup line with a margarita in hand. 

A little more bargaining for lower room rates for a working woman. 

Natalie Nicole calls for preggers advice and a facility that will accept her guide dog.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

COD35-Debbie Does Bath Salts

Debra calls for abortion procedure advice. But poor Homer gets a lesson of his own.

Black is the new white.

Close encounters of the filth kind at the Waffle House.

You get job make living! Girls are on the menu at Tina's. So is Wisconsin Cheese. Pretty yummay. 

Rover took over and tasted the rainbow... Then flew WAAAAAY over it.

No Justin Bieber in this hot sexy girl!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

COD34-Rub Myself, Dearie!

Debra needs some space! She calls for help on removing junk. 

The 700 Club gets a call about the latest snickers extravaganza. 

Debra's search for help with her unborn child and the subsequent tropical carnage has her calling a help line. 

The Pancake House and other places get verbal visits from Debra's lonely hearts club. 

Debra, being so lonely, decides to fill her time with a little reading material. Slipping a little into her old psychosis, she calls around to find a specific special literary work. 

DK Donuts gets a special request. 

We don't clean, ever.

Debra calls Kirby vacuums and other similar establishments to find a solution for her... Issue.

Carpet cleaner casual encounters. SWF LF "carpet cleaner."

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

COD33-Psychic Journey

If god puts his finger on you to donate, you can send an amazon gift card to

Debra ends up in a conversation with a salesman about a "dual purpose" washing machine. 

Debra calls for some advice about her son's Lindsey, Dina and Ali Lohan family addiction. Instead she ends up trying to give her own support through a donation. 

Debra calls a psychic service for help solving a case. She might have shared a little too much with the customer service representative. 

Desperate with getting nowhere, Debra calls a head shop to inquire about a vaporizer to smoke her surplus of a certain material.

Totes MaGoats!

Tired of her western medications not working, Debra calls an herbalist or two looking for something to help a couple of her conditions, one being an urge to... Well, you should listen to find out.

With little help from the herbalists, Debra calls to get information on various massage therapies. The language barrier proves to be an obstacle yet again. 

Tags: Donald Sterling, basketball,  Clippers, Lindsey Lohan, Ali Lohan, Dina Lohan, cotton, slave, herb, Sylvia Brown, massage, vaporizer, smoke, Jonas, cupping, snickers, Circus, fatback, prolapse

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

COD32-Vaginal Mesh

Debra calls around to find a shop that sells unmentionables. But, yet again, she hits a brick wall while searching for that elusive unicorn of a chiffon girdle.  Since Debra can't find a new one locally, she tries her best to find a cleaners to have her old chiffon girdle cleaned.  Debra decides to finally call about that feeshy girdle smell in her tea.  Feeling a push from Jesus to get help from a gay to straight support group for her grandson, Debra calls Family Research Council for information.  Big Debbie takes one more stab at finding a chiffon girdle at Walgreens. She gets more attention than she bargains for.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

COD31-Begger Doodle

Jesus spoke to me last night after a bit of sacrificial wine and a couple of unidentified pills I found on the sidewalk that looked like Jesus. (He wouldn’t lead me astray.) He told me that I must work hard to save you all. His last words before I passed out were, “Tell them to rate you and write a review on iTunes or they are going to purgatory with Gumby and Jerry Falwell!” Do it now or burn!

Debra calls for a massage and facial (of a different kind), but finds an obstacle in her way.  Lindsey? Is that you??

She calls a pregnancy hotline for help. Instead she gets a referral to Hoover, International.

Debra, being the desperate woman she is, calls that old familiar dating hotline to find someone to service her “mattress.” There may have been a gun involved.

Debra finds an amazing moment of clarity where she remembers a rather large donation to the Baker’s ministry to help with a new satellite.  Knowing that the satellite was taken by TBN after the fall of the ministry, Debra calls to get her donation back!