COD44-I'm Alive, Not Life Threatening

I’m alive - not life threatening!

After a bad fall at a conference hosted by Sarah Palin, Debra finds herself in a medically induced coma for a couple of months. When she wakes up, she recovers quickly and gets back to her usual not-normal self.

Debra discovers that she may have been accosted while in her coma. The proof? Her doctor tells her that she is 7 weeks pregnant! Once home, she begins to panic and calls for helpful advice. Her sistie, Cheryl, tells her to get an abortion, but Debra isn’t so sure that’s what she wants to do. A christian pregnancy help center offers advice. All things can be overcome, FOR SURE! But Debbie may get lucky and not need the abortion!

Another christian help center gives similar advice but Debra is after a bit on monetary help as well. When that doesn’t happen, she gets desperate and asks about alternate ways to get rid of the baby that may or may not involve flights of stairs. "Nooooooo. Nooo.” 

Not getting anywhere, Debra decides to tackle another problem. Her son has been dancing on her 12 foot cross in her backyard again to Madonna. But this time, his friends are involved. She calls a couple of christian book stores looking for help on the subject. On a side note, she decides that duck may be on the table soon so she needs a recipe.

By this time, Debbie’s prescription is kicking in. Now thinking she is a hollywood and stage goddess by the same first name, Debbie calls to set up an appointment to have her expensive chiffon carpet cleaned. 

She quickly gives up the call in a full anxiety attack when she learns that Harrison Ford has been in a plane crash. Reeling from the news, Debra falls to the floor and slips into another coma. When will she wake up? Will her son take the opportunity to invite more friends over for a madonna cross burning? Will her pregnancy survive the coma?

Find out what happens to Debra next time on Church of Debra