COD16-Taking a bad trip with E and the gurlz

Calls in order

• Walmart - Talks to a cleaner about the facts of life DVD box set to find out WALMART supercenter is closed!
• Walmart - A nice 24 hour lady looks for her facts of life dvd box set even tho the first lady was very RUDE
• Chat line - Debra thinks she IS mrs garrett at this point. The extacy is in full force and Debra's feeling it?

On her weekly visit to walmart, Debra finds a small plastic bag on the ground beside her car filled with extacy. Thinking it is her own lithium and it fell out of her purse as she got out, she picks it up and stashes it in her purse. Later, after taking her first dose for the day which means missing her dose of lithium, Debra spirals into a weird combination of the effects of the extacy and a total psychosis where she believes she is Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life. On the way down, she calls Walmart looking for The Facts of Life DVD box set, but finds that the store is closed and the only person available is with maintenance. Finding another Walmart that is open, Debra speaks with a clueless woman who passes the call on to a very helpful and nice lady who gives Debra the bad news. They don't carry The Facts of Life DVD box set. This causes Debra to slip deep into her psychosis where she thinks she is Mrs. Garrett. Feeling the full effects of the extacy, she calls a singles chat line where she lets her inner whore out to play.

Before the effects wear off, Debra writes her own Fan Porn:

Facts of Life outsourced to India for the last season that never aired. But Mrs. Gahred, Tusti, Bahlair, Joei and Nartalika just didn't make the cut.

Mrs. Garrett eyed tootie through the steamy shower room door with lust in her eyes. Her long lush eyelashes dripping with water laced with the essence of tootie that filled the room in the form of steam.

Tootie had no idea of her amorous admirer until she felt a brush against her nubile back.

Mrs. Garrett's ample boosum and large supple nipples brushed against tooties neck. Tootie's skin reacted with thousands of little goose pimples.

Tootie exclaimed, "somebody's gonna be in trooooubleeeee"

Edna swiftly spun tootie around and pushed her into her enormous cleavage. Tootie couldn't breath.

Edna was so overjoyed, she begin singing "Love in an elevator" as tootie's arms swung widly trying to find something to get a grip on to pull herself from certain death by breast asphyxiation.

Tootie suddently realized that Edna's Edibles wasn't JUST a store front. It was an apt description of Edna Garrett's inentions.

Then came the jokes:

1. Did you hear about that horrible documentary about Blair after the facts of life? Seems she moved to mass. in the woos to be alone. I think it was called Blair Witch.
2. Tootie witch. Sequel to Blair witch.
3. Did you know Mrs. Garrett was a lesbian? Seems she was found at the Ihop eating Tootie fruity pancakes.
4. They made Joe be the butch bulldagger... because she already was. They covered her in tootie's fruity topping.
5. Natalie, being the food lover she is, couldn't control herself and actually ATE tootie out... literally. The only thing left was course pig tails and roller skates... and a little piece of chewing gum to the side.
6. That's when Mrs Garett stopped breast feeding natalie. She had to get milk from the other cow. To this day, Natalie can't pass the dairy section of super walmart without mooing to fond childhood memories.
7. It was when Natalie decided to try to become healthy by weightlifting. But she went too far and popped a prolapse while squatting 400 pounds. Poor tootie was right behind her. Tootie never smelled the same from the spray.

CODV3-Greta Van Susteren Sits Down With Debra Wilkerson for First Interview

FOX News' Greta Van Susteren is in Mississippi to get Debra Wilkerson's reflections on the clothes and Africa.